Can you tell us a little about Shaun?
Shaun grew up in Hamilton with his two brothers and sister. He made the move to Tauranga in his 20’s, where I met him years later. Shaun truly was the most special person. One of my favourite things about him was how kind and caring he was, how good he was with people. He had this gift of being able to talk to anyone about anything and he made you feel heard and genuinely cared for while doing so. Shaun was the best husband to me and the absolute best father to our two young boys. Being a good husband and dad was so important to him and there was nothing he wouldn’t do for our family. He absolutely adored being a dad and he was so good at it.
Shaun was the type of person that still looked out for others even when going through a massively hard journey himself. He was the strongest, bravest, most courageous, loving and kind man, who still laughed and joked right until the end. I love that about him so much.
How did his sarcoma journey begin?
There really weren’t many symptoms at all. He noticed a lump in his chest and decided to go to the doctor, thinking it was probably just an injury or fluid etc.
What was the experience of receiving the diagnosis like for you both?
The diagnosis process for Shaun took a long time. There were multiple scans and biopsies taken before we had any answers and we were in an unknown period for over a month. The unknown was scary because we knew it wasn’t looking good, but we didn’t know exactly what we were dealing with. Every appointment we went to we walked in hoping we would finally have answers, only to leave more confused. Until we were told it was definitely cancer. I think we both had a feeling deep down that’s what it was, but hearing those words and getting that diagnosis in your early 30’s doesn’t feel right or fair. We were scared, of course we were scared, but we knew we were going to walk the journey together and fight it together. And amazingly, Shaun had this peace within him from very early on which definitely rubbed off on me and affected the way I handled things too.
What treatment did he go through, and how did he approach it?
Shaun went through Chemo for about 4 months and then followed that with 5 (I think) weeks of daily radiation. After that the doctors were very pleased with the results, the tumor had shrunk significantly and they felt they were able to operate. Unfortunately even though the tumor was smaller now, it was still large and in a dangerous area. To remove it all they had to do a forequater amputation on his right arm. Again, although this was scary, Shaun knew this was likely from early on and so he had time to process and wrap his head around it all. He had the best mindset, he said “I would rather lose my arm than my life and if this is what I have to do to watch my boys grow up then so be it.” He fought so hard. He really wanted to be here for his boys. After his surgery in January 2025 he adjusted amazingly well and quite fast. We were all so so proud of him, such a strong man and incredible man. We got the good news that the surgeon had removed all the cancer and for a short time we celebrated that he was cancer free. Until we found out in August 2025 that the cancer had started growing in his lungs.
Who or what supported you during this time?
We had good family support but the biggest support probably came from our church community. We were blessed with meals being dropped off every night while Shaun was on chemo, given grocery and petrol vouchers because he had to stop working and I was a stay at home mum to our under 1 year old. Family helped us with the kids, with cleaning and every day tasks that sometimes got too much. Shaun’s faith was also incredibly important to him so he would always find comfort in that and I believe that’s where his peace and incredible mindset came from. Another thing that was hugely helpful was the cancer society. They brought us frozen meals and the volunteer drivers took Shaun to his radiation every day. Shaun really enjoyed meeting new people and chatting with them on the way to treatment.
What were some of the biggest challenges you both faced?
Treatment definitely comes with it’s challenges, being so sick during chemo was physically very hard on him and very hard for me to watch. Shaun adjusted to his amputation very well and reasonably quickly but it was still a huge adjustment. He was right handed and suddenly he didn’t have a right hand anymore which came with a lot of challenges, for example, learning to do things with his left hand, learning to do things one handed, managing phantom pain and feeling like he still had an arm when he didn’t. There are so many things you don’t even think about until you are in that situation or close to someone in that situation. He definitely got frustrated with himself at times. Finding out about his terminal diagnosis was emotionally challenging for many reasons, we felt we were finally slowly starting to get back into normal life and routine and then we were hit with that news. You instantly start grieving the life you thought you’d have together, you feel this overwhelming sadness of thinking you’ve overcome this awful disease just for it to knock you right back down. We were so sad for ourselves but also our children who won’t get to grow up with their dad. The man that would have continued to be the absolute best dad to them if he had the choice.
What helped you and Shaun find strength on the tougher days?
Our kids really helped us get through a lot of it, they’re far too young to realise it but without them it would have been so easy to give up. Shaun fought so hard because of them, being a dad was so important to him and he didn’t want to let them down. He wanted to keep playing with them as much as he could, attend to their needs as much as he could, so even when he didn’t always feel like he had the energy he did as much as he could. And often he said he felt better when he forced himself to continue doing these things with the kids. Don’t get me wrong there were definitely days he needed to rest and I never wanted him to over do it, but the kids are such a huge part that kept us going. We also focused a lot on making memories and just spending time together, we found joy in the little moments together and we just made sure to always love and support each other through the journey. He gave me so much strength just by being the type of person he was.
What do you wish others understood about sarcoma and the journey you walked together?
That it can be very hard and feel very lonely. It’s such a scary thing to have to face and process, especially at this age and stage of our life. When we got married 6 years ago we never imagined this is how life would turn out. To those that may be going through similar, please know you are not alone, please accept help when people offer. You don’t have to know exactly what you need, I still don’t know what I need when people ask if there’s anything they can do. But if someone wants to drop off a meal, clean your house, have the kids for a few hours or walk your dog so you can rest etc, let them. People generally don’t offer up things if they don’t want to do it, you’re not a burden. And to those that want to support someone going through the journey and don’t know how, think about something you could do for them that might ease their stress and mental load. Or just be there, you don’t have to know what to say, they just might need someone to listen. They might just need a hug. The smallest bit of support can help massively and the biggest thing is making sure they know they don’t have to go through this alone.
How would you describe Shaun’s legacy?
Shaun was such an inspiring man and that’s why I will never stop telling his story. I hope that others going through something similar feel inspired to keep fighting. He told me not long before he died that It’s important now more than ever to keep faith, love yourself and love the people around you. I already knew he was a special person, but when someone is dying you really see just how impactful they’ve been on others lives and Shaun truly did impact many. By being open and continuing to always share his story and talk about him, I hope to continue impacting people’s lives through him in a meaningful and positive way.
Is there anything else you would like to share with the Sarcoma Foundation community?
Our story may have ended in the worst possible way, but not everyone’s ends this way. It’s important to keep donating to the Sarcoma Foundation so they can continue their research and give those going through this journey the absolute best care and support possible. I’m truly so grateful for the opportunity to keep sharing our journey, thank you Sarcoma Foundation for the work you do and for allowing me to use my voice. Shaun would be so proud of me and he would want everyone to know how important supporting causes like this is.